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About Deviant caseyMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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As i lay here in bed, listening to the sounds of the night I can't help but feel a sense of anger and hurt. The last few years have been incredibly difficult for me, and my family.  My anger is not that of a furious man, it's a colder, deeper resentment. I don't resent people, though i may lash out at them from time to time because of it. I resent the position we were put in, having to make the decisions, the really tough decisions, the life altering decisions. Decisions we will struggle with the rest of our lives. I hurt because I know there are no second chances, no matter how much we may wish it differently. I ache to hold my fathers hand one more time, to kiss my nephew on top of his head and throw him in the air to hear him giggle.  So many changes all at once and I act like it's all hunky dory, but I'm expected to be happy and adjust my entire life to fit into something that could have, should have been ...under different circumstances, feeling like a sinking ship on ever rougher seas. I walk through this life wearing a mask, trying to hide the hurt and resentment I feel but it's always there simmering under the surface, eating away at the joy I could be feeling over a new day. Some days it's easier to push away from the surface, others it's all I can do to contain it. I strive to make others happy, hoping in doing so I might one day benefit from their laughter and warm hugs. I can see that I'm not the only one dealing with these struggles and my empathy for their plight pushes me down that much farther.   I long for the warm days of a loving touch, a genuine smile, free from the weight of terrible decisions and heart ache. 

deviantID

mantiswind
casey
United States
Current Residence: Texas
Print preference: Large
Favourite genre of music: Several, rock/country/oldies
Operating System: Windows 7 but it sucks
MP3 player of choice: Ipod
Wallpaper of choice: Seductive girl
Interests
Well, for any of you that voted for my business, I wasn't able to get enough votes.  I appreciate all of your help!  For now I am just pushing along, trying to stay busy.  Shooting for a couple of magazines, always looking for more clients.  Hope everyone out there is doing great!
  • Mood: Sadness

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:icontixielix:
TixieLix Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave on my Street Fighter work!
Reply
:iconmantiswind:
mantiswind Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2015
Your welcome!  You have some really cool pieces
Reply
:iconloonyfred:
LoonyFred Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015
thank you for the llama!
Reply
:icondragonfuture:
dragonfuture Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the Llama badge! :hug:
Reply
:iconvaalandil:
Vaalandil Featured By Owner May 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thx for :llama:, have one back! :la:
Reply
:iconsugarlandbabygirl:
SugarLandBabyGirl Featured By Owner May 19, 2015
Thank you so much for the llama! :D
Reply
:iconelementiro:
elementiro Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama. :)
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:iconmantiswind:
mantiswind Featured By Owner May 18, 2015
Your welcome!
Reply
:iconyhhsulami:
YHHSulami Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the llama! I give you one too!
Reply
:iconjkorakos:
jkorakos Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the Llama, have a nice day! :)
Reply
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